On nectarines

It’s a shame when you’re at work or elsewhere and you’re hungry and the only food you have on you is a nectarine, the least socially acceptable fruit one can eat in public, and you consider going into a toilet cubicle to eat it to save you the shame and humiliation and the looks of disgust and disapproval from everyone around you as you squelch and slurp and dribble your way through every agonising but juicily delicious bite.

*UPDATE*

So it’s the next day and I am packing my bag for work and as I emptying the contents of my bag from yesterday, I find the nectarine that caused me so much grief yesterday. It was in quite a bad way. I’m sorry nectarine, from now on I’ll never take you or any of your family out of the house – you are most definitely a delicious fruit to be enjoyed by one’s self.

Science: It’s a girl thing!!!! <3

Dear readers, right now I am ANGRY. Because Twitter just drew my attention to the most awful thing I have seen in quite some time. Watch this video.

I really don’t even know where to start. I watched this and almost laughed at it at first. Then I saw the website that goes with it. Please for the love of Darwin, look at the website.

IT IS A EUROPEAN COMMISSION WEBSITE.

This is how Europe thinks they are going to get women into science? REALLY EUROPE? HAVE YOU EVER MET A WOMAN? Everything about this website is patronising, condescending, insulting, negatively stereotyped, damaging, offensive… I could go on, but you get the point.

They made the “i” in “science” a lipstick. A LIPSTICK. They wrote “science” on the side of safety goggles like they’re Chanel or something. Click on the “Dream jobs” link on the website – it’s empty. Never mind – what about the “6 reasons science needs you” section – that might be informative. Go on Europe, sell a career in science to me!

Reason 1: Health, demographic change and wellbeing, paired with a stereotypical image of a woman caring for an old lady. Ahh of course, woman as carer. Although she *does* have a stethoscope around her neck, so she must be some kind of doctor. Four out of the other 5 reasons appear to be something to do with saving the planet. Who the hell were the women they researched to make this site – were they all Miss World contestants? “OMG yeah science is awesome because it helps us save the world and the planet and all the animals and OMG they talk about science on cosmetic websites so that must be science too so THAT’S COOL!”

Words really cannot describe my anger at this site. It’s almost laughable. But the worrying thing is, this is a serious thing. This is an actual thing that people thought was a Good Idea. I do despair. Women, men, scientists… Let’s take action.  I am trying to link to the “contact” section of the website but it just keeps timing out so if anyone finds out where we can complain to, please do let me know in the comments section.

I love this. By @tomhouslay

If you think I write good, you should meet my dad.

I’ve been told a few times that I write quite well. It’s why I had enough confidence to actually start my own blog in the first place. But, dear readers, this was not all just an accident or coincidence – it’s all in my genes. I got this talent (if you can call it that) from my dad.

Papa Loris has been writing for years, although only ever as a much-loved hobby. He, like me, loves to write. He mostly writes humorous poems and speeches, his specialty being best man wedding speeches, many of which he has written on numerous occasions over the years for friends and family members who were, quite literally, pulling their own hair out and physically spewing at the thought of having to write and deliver a speech that was under immense pressure to be funny.

This is my dad, by the way, pictured with my sister and I. He’s a pretty cool guy.

(Just to confirm: We were at an 80s themed party. As cool as he is, he doesn’t always dress a a Blues Brother). (Yes, my sister is hot).

I’m writing this not just because it was Father’s day yesterday, but for a more specific cause. My dad was made redundant earlier in the year from a run-of-the-mill rat race job that he has been incredibly unhappy in for many, many years, but stuck with because he had a wife and two children to provide for. Even now at the age of 24-and-a-half, I am still not entirely financially independent and although I never ask him for anything, I know my monetary situation is a constant stress for him, yet he has always actively encouraged me to do all of the things I want to do – even if those things do involve continuously going back to university with absolutely no funding.

After being made redundant, my dad has had the guts to give his love for writing a final chance to become more than a hobby. He has set up a website that offers a speech writing service – it’s marketed as a best man speech provider, but he can do much more than that. You can see the website here, and like the facebook page here.

This post is unlike any of my others in that it is basically a big advert for this website, but quite frankly I don’t care. My dad is giving his dream one last shot and if you could just “like” the facebook page to keep his morale up or pass the link on to anyone who might be interested, I would be eternally grateful.

Thanks dad, for always putting us before yourself.

Lauren x