On Facebook and relationships.

I witnessed quite an extreme example of messy relationship issues on Facebook today. A male friend of  a friend appeared to have been having sexy-times on the internet with another lady and his fiance found out. And naturally, what with it being the year 2012 and all, the fiance’s initial reaction was to copy and paste the exerts of the rather graphic conversations onto her (and his) Facebook page.I won’t post the exerts here for two reasons: 1. They are really graphic and you can use your imaginations and 2. The spelling and grammar used within them is absolutely appalling. But the fiance did post some really angry, heartfelt status updates (just to point out I am not friends with these people directly and therefore the profile can be viewed publicly, I am not posting anything that would otherwise remain private material):

Now I know that this revelation must have been absolutely devastating – the couple have a 6 month old child and the conversation exerts are very graphic as I said before. I just find it interesting that this has become the new way of reacting to such problems. The fiance also finds out the name of the woman her partner has been chatting to and links to her page for all to see. So now this other girl, who may or may not at this moment have any idea of what is going on, has been publicly outed for something that she undoubtedly thought was a completely private interaction, every typed word transcribed on Facebook. Her profile shows clearly her face, the town she is from and where she works. And to make it all just a bit worse: She looks very, very young.

Friends of the fiance were obviously deeply angered by this too, leading to posts like this in reaction to the sexy script:

Some of that is pretty disturbing stuff. I’m honestly not justifying what the man did – obviously he was in the wrong and the fiance has every right to be upset. But what worries me is that this Jeremy Kyle Does Facebook style outrage is shockingly common. It seems to just be the done thing these days, it’s how people deal with things. I’m not saying it is right or wrong (personally I would never deal with anything like this in such a public arena but hey, that’s just me) and I’m not taking sides. It’s just an observation. One that scares me a bit. What do you think?

What *does* bother me though, is when people use COMPLETELY FALSE SCIENTIFIC REASONING to explain why relationships go wrong. THAT IS NOT OKAY. See below.

Any thoughts?

2 thoughts on “On Facebook and relationships.

  1. java7nerd says:

    Idiotic excuse by evo-phych. Which, by the way, also suggest reasons why females are driven to mate with a different male than they settle down with, so presumably that person with the rainbow-coloured avatar would also excuse women cheating too?

    How about we forget the shaky science behind what might drive people to do bad things, and just blame the guilty instead?

  2. Martina says:

    I’m of the opinion that people who want to sleep with many different people while in a relationship should find likeminded people to be together with. The lack of drama would leave more internet space for funny cat videos.

    In this specific case, I get why she’d be upset with her partner, but I don’t really understand why she’s be upset with the person her partner slept with. The two women weren’t friends, were they? They have no obligations to eachother. The one breaking the social contract was her partner. Though I have to wonder how close they really were anyway, considering how enthusiastically she yells about him on the internet. Isn’t that energy better spent shouting at him in person?

    Eh, I’m just glad I don’t know any people like these.

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